Sustainable Bonanza

January 5, 2018

Going Inside

I’m not a doctor & I’m not a surgeon and so without the help of the Magic School Bus going into my anatomy I can’t actually see what’s going on inside of my body. Except I can. (more…)

September 14, 2017

I gave up on sleep

Filed under: General — Tags: — Kirsten @ 9:07AM

** A short part of what may one day be something longer.   Can you hear my voice?**

I gave up on sleep.  Or did sleep give up on me?  This morning, I’m not sure which it is.  And so I roll over with all the enthusiasm of someone who has had a night full of dreams about being chased, surrounded by evil people, and frustrated at every turn, only to try to divine information from the symbols and continually have images from The Road pop into my head.  Great.  That’s going to make jumping into my day so much more fun. Not to mention that I only have until Friday to do a massive quantity of work.  I’ll be taking a small bite out of a massive rotting corpse.  Unpleasant.  I feel like this will take me longer than I committed to. But I have no choice now.  Really I do and I should be a lot less negative about this all.  Sit down.  Maybe meditate.  Feel one with everything around me and smile.  Maybe yoga and a run will help this off kilter brain to get back on track.  

Instead I log onto the computer and open Firefox.  Getting ready to check email and Facebook, as if either will have some insight on how to gain my positiveness back.

September 9, 2017

Facebook: A Tool Not Evil

Filed under: General — Tags: , , , — Kirsten @ 1:04PM

Facebook is just a thing.  A tool.  Something on the internet that someone though up to try to serve a function.  You may or may not like that function, but that is just what it is.   Right now a lot of people use Facebook because it works to fill their needs.  In fact, social media is constantly changing and updating and the way that you use it may be completely different than the way someone else does.

One day there may be something else that we decide to use.  But the thing is Facebook itself is not evil.  It may be a time suck for some, allowing them to drift into a world entirely (dis) connected to the one apart from the screen, but the thing itself is not a time suck.

People get distracted because they don’t practice not getting distracted.  I mean yes, there are links to the way something works and patterns of behavior, I mean why do you think that grocery stores are all laid out similarly or the same musak is playing when you call the doctor or the IRS? But it is still an individuals responsibility to face their choices and make decisions as to how they behave if they wish to live the life they want to live.

We are not taught this in school though.  No one sat me down and explained that behavior was based on pattern and that I was responsible for making sure I developed that habits that I wanted.  Sometimes it is a struggle to remember this self-empowerment when faced with hours cycling through statuses, likes, and comments.  If I am owned by the social media itself it is my choice.  AND I have the ability to make a different choice.  For if truly we are out of control when it comes to decisions that persuasive advertising and things that make us behave certain ways should not allowed to exist, no?

As a tool, Facebook makes decisions that it wishes because people continue to use it and amazing things are happening because of this access.  Live stream meditation or injustice as it unfolds.  Use it to promote your event.  Share news with family and friends worldwide.  None of these actions are inherently wrong.  People who choose not to go on are making their choice.  People who choose to take breaks are making their choice.  Neither is wrong.

Addictive behaviors and why we seek them have nothing to do with the tools available to us.  They have to do with how we are hard wired in this world.  The internet is born of how we interact with it, not to manipulate it but because we understand ourselves so well.  

So use Facebook and perhaps instead of railing on, think of the ways in which you can cultivate a healthy relationship with this tool instead of blaming it for the choices that you make.  And in the end maybe take a look at yourself and what you are avoiding looking at in the first place that drive overuse?

September 7, 2017

Going For A Sniff

Filed under: General — Tags: , , , — Kirsten @ 1:04PM

I used to pretend that when I took my dog out we were going for a walk.  To me this was a structured thing.  I had in my imagination that we’d go out and walk briskly.  Then at some point the dog would take one break to pee and another to poo and then we’d continue along our route briskly returning home.

I quickly found out that I was wrong, which you probably already knew.    Instead my daily walks looked more like a time for my puppy and now dog to sniff everything in sight.  Repeatedly.  For extended periods of time.  Sometimes we’d find ourselves in the same spot for several minutes.   When I let him he can wax poetic with a stick or a flower sniffing until he gets a glazed look in his eyes, looking intoxicated by the object before him and all its smells.  When I remember how happy it makes him and can shake myself out of my schedule and how many minutes I have before I need to leave I take the time and notice the world around me as well.   (more…)

June 22, 2017

Dust angel

Filed under: General — Tags: , , , — Kirsten @ 9:00AM

Driving from Reno after a flight west and supplies run, the car filled with equipment and what had been strangers just hours before finally arrive at the gate.  Dust kicked up by cars driving across the dry lake bed swirled through the open window as our tickets were scanned.  Driving forward to the Greeters where the packed car of travelers would be given the official welcome to Burning Man.

It was my first year.  I had read everything on the website, gotten sage advice from friends who had been before, but while the open playa before me was filled with expectation it was empty of actual knowing what would happen in the coming week.

We got out of the car facing the costumed Greeters at our station.  We received the WhatWhereWhen Guide, a map, and a brief orientation of where to head.  One S&M leather clad Greeter asked if we had any virgins and I raised my hand.  I was invited to lay down on the playa to make a dust angel.  My travel companions, both returning burners, looked on with eyes glittering as they encouraged me to lay down on the ground.   (more…)

June 20, 2017

Zipping into life

Filed under: General — Tags: , , — Kirsten @ 11:15AM

One bare foot after another pressed uncomfortably into the thick rope of the cargo net.  The angle steepening until it became sheer vertical.  Reaching to the U shaped staples fastened around the thick post to finish my climb to the top of the tower.  Determined to make it.  Actually, unsure if not making it is an option.   (more…)

May 1, 2017

Birth and Death

Filed under: General — Tags: , , , — Kirsten @ 1:07AM

In the cycles of life are birth and death; points between, milestones, emerge as well, but we often look to these two big points for our deeper meaning even as it is found day to day.

I began my morning in the barn.  Sometime last night our goat, Hannah, gave birth to three babies.  Initially we thought there were two for it was the two does that were dry and romping about the stall learning to steady their legs, heads butting everything in sight as they sought to connect that action to ultimately the one that would find them nursing their mothers full udder.

Kids will butt their mother’s udder to get the milk flowing, but then they need to learn to suckle.  There is something so comical about them attempting to nurse on everything in sight.  But then in the joys of those awkward first moments I noticed what I thought was a placenta in the corner.  My mother said it couldn’t be so I looked closer and found a dead kid.  In disbelief she came over and looked: we discovered the little pile of fur was a still wet, and now cold, buck.  Two are more common than three so we weren’t looking for that body even though eventually I found it.  When it had died or why was uncertain. (more…)

February 7, 2017

Watching the storm approach

Filed under: General,Spirit — Tags: — Kirsten @ 4:14PM

I can see a storm coming from my desk on the third floor of my home overlooking Mt. Tom.

It begins in the distance over the mountain.  As it slowly moves closer the mountain will become more and more invisible until it cannot be seen.  At that point it exists as a white blur of sky.  Depth abandoned. Calling for presence in this instant.

I look forward to these storms and the swirling snow or driving rain.  They put me into my center and let me be with myself gently.  These are the days that I don’t feel compelled to go out.  Inevitably productive as long as you are capable of understanding that sometimes that nap your body is calling for is really essential to the day.

Sitting quietly.

November 7, 2016

Autumn’s Gold

Filed under: General — Tags: , , , — Kirsten @ 10:48AM

This is my love letter to autumn.

Dear Autumn,

As I was driving the other day I was struck by your beauty.  I confess that while I’ve always found you beautiful and necessary, I also often think of you as being the death foretold as it relate to the coming winter. But this day as your colors shimmered across the nearby hills I realized that you are not only the harbinger of death, but the precursor of a necessary dormancy; the time to go internally in order to nourish inner seeds. (more…)

October 31, 2016

Blending in.

Filed under: General — Tags: , , , , , , — Kirsten @ 9:49AM

When I was heading out to North Dakota I stopped near Fargo at an outdoor gear place.  I was thinking about picking up a few things that I’d need for being at Standing Rock for two or three weeks (a machete, water purification tablets, a bladder for carrying water around, etc.) but I was also curious to see if I noticed something that I otherwise didn’t know I needed.  (This is a horrible idea for me to do.  I’m am notoriously a gear head and LOVE to pick up new things to make my outdoor experience more seamless and lightweight.) (more…)

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